Today I’ve got more advice for you all. This week’s offering comes from the lovely Jessie from Young Georgia Love. I came across her blog a couple of weeks ago and I just went through her entire archive in a day and a half. Naturally I’m delighted that she’s here to share some wise advice with us.

First off, hello readers of A Simple Cup of Tea! I’m so excited Karen asked me to participate in her advice series over here; it’s so cool! I’m Jessie and I run Young Georgia Love, a blog about enjoying my life to its absolute fullest. My advice comes from my dear old dad. My dad is like my best friend, and I am so thankful to have him in my life. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever known. Heck, he even bought me a corsage for my prom when he knew I wasn’t going with a guy!

Alright, so. Let’s get down to business. I want to set up the scene for y’all, first. I am five years old. I am riding in the car with my dad through Atlanta and we’re listening to Garrison Keillor tell a story of Lake Wobegon. At some point, Garrison’s story inspires my dad to teach his daughter a very valuable lesson. To this day, I have no idea what stirred my father to tell me this.

Regardless, as we’re driving through the city, my father lowers the volume and looks at me. “Jessie,” he says to young me, “I want to tell you something. This is very important and I want you to never ever forget it, okay?” Being the daddy’s girl that I was, I was very quick to enthusiastically nod and wait for my beloved father to say what ever it was his heart desired.

“Always remember this. At the end of the day, everybody’s shit stinks the same.”

And that was all he said. He just turned the radio back up and kept driving. We were done talking and I was left to wonder why my father had just cursed. As far as I was concerned, he had said a very bad word and Mom was going to be very mad at him. But I never told my mom. And I never really thought about it again. Until high school.

This may come as a shock, but I did not have a good go in high school. I actually had a pretty terrible time with it. I could just never understand the entire situation. One day after class I was walking to my locker and I overheard this group of girls laughing about some other girl. I don’t even remember what they were saying, but it was mean. And as I listened to them I rolled my eyes and thought to myself “What makes them think they’re so much better than her? Their shit all smells the same.”

And I was floored. I hadn’t even thought of those words since the day my father told them to me, and now I completely understood them. No one person is better than another. We have no right to pass judgement, to feel superior. At the end of the day, after all, everyone’s- well, I’m sure you can finish it for yourself.

Love and Luck,
Jessie:)

After a couple of weeks so it’s time for more advice on Tuesday. This week’s advice comes from my lovely friend Erika. I met her in 2009 while I was on Erasmus in Sweden and we immediately became friends. Since I’ve been back to visit twice and they welcomed me in their home with such warmth and kindness that I figured she’d have some great advice in store for you all.

When Karen sent me this request I was lying on the couch with a high fever, watching The Little Mermaid and feeling pretty bad about myself. I had been stuck with this pain in the ass virus for over two weeks and it had more or less put my life on hold. Immediately I started thinking of what kind of advice I should write about. My feverish brain couldn’t go
further back than a few months and I remembered some advice that I got when my whole life suddenly
changed with a single phonecall.

To understand why this advice is so important to me, you need to know some things about me and my loving husband Andreas. We have been a couple since 2007 and married since 2009 (where Karen was one of only 3 guests – Ed. note: and what a party it was!) and we have been trying to get pregnant almost as long as we have been together. We don’t know what’s wrong, but we just can’t conceive. We kept going however and started to plan for adoption. The process is a time and money consuming process and we had actually decided not to save to buy a house but to adopt a child.

One evening, when Andreas was at work I was getting ready to go to bed, when an older cousin of mine wrote to me on facebook asking if we ever considered becoming fosterparents. I was stunned and asked why she suddenly brought it up. Then she just told me about a child that hasn’t been born yet and that I should call her immediatly. I first called Andreas to check that he was in on it, and he started talking about maternity leave and all the practical stuff. He didn’t even say yes, he started making plans on the spot!

Finally I called my cousin, and she explained the situation to me. There is this woman who is now pregnant for the third time and my cousin and her husband has one of the older children in her care. They are now in their fifties and feel that they are to old to care for newborn. My heart stopped beating. I held my breath. My cousin wanted us to voulenteer as fosterparents for this unborn baby.

Ever since that night my life has been all about calling social services and planning for the baby. Even though we are pretty sure to get this child, we have not started the investigation and all we can do is wait.

So on to the advice. It was something my cousin wrote to me when I asked her how she felt about that none of her children is biologically hers, and that she will never be pregnant. She answered very simply:

”It doesn’t matter if the child grows beneath your heart or in your heart, it will always be your child.”

This is something that I will cary with me through life. I have had so many comments about our descion to be foster parents, and not all are supportive. I am a strong beliver that everything has a meaning, but the road to find out what it is can be rocky and bumpy and you may loose track of your path some times. Most of the time however you will find your way. So I have started to relax and we know that perhaps we are not ment to be biological parents, but I think that there are children out there that need us, children who need a family that will care for them and love them.

I can only hope that this blogpost will inspire just one person out there to start thinking about being a foster parent, and to never take life for granted. There are children out there who need you.

Another Tuesday so it’s time for more advice. This week’s advice comes from Kendra. She’s the editor of VivandLarry.com, Vivien Leigh expert and all-around great gal.

When the going gets tough…

I was in the library when I got the piece of advice that I’m sharing with the readers of A Simple Cup of Tea today. I remember the moment clearly, or, rather, the moment that led up to this. For the past 3 ½ years I’ve been working on a book project that’s very near and dear to my heart. Sacrifices have been made—I’ve invested so much of my time, so much of myself into this thing.

I knew there would be roadblocks. Nothing worth having ever comes easy. But when the first one was thrown at me I felt overwhelmed. It was huge and seemed insurmountable. I had been rejected, turned down for what I saw as a very important aspect of my project. You know it’s a big deal when you break down in tears in a public space and have to go sob in the bathroom. After composing myself, I went back to my computer and wrote an email to a fellow author explaining the situation. What was I going to do? How could I possibly get past this obstacle? He answered: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

How many times have we all heard that one before? But I knew that it was true. If I wanted to see this to completion I couldn’t give up, despite the odds.

I wish I could say at this point that the advice has paid off and I’ve accomplished my goal of getting published. The truth is that I’m still working at it—still struggling and bumping into various obstacles, and having to pick myself up again. I’ve felt frustrated, let down, and have definitely had my moments of self -doubt. Many of my friends have had to listen to me wonder out loud whether I’ll ever get there in the end. They’re always patient and sympathetic, and when I’ve finished pouring out my frustration they kindly remind me of what I have always hoped and believed: that if I’m tough and keep working because I’m passionate about what I’m doing, I will succeed in the end.

This week’s advice comes from the lovely Ellie. I met her at Guildhall summer school where we both did the Shakespeare and Contemporary Theatre course. We were in different groups but we hung out in my dorm kitchen a lot and we’ve been friends ever since.

A friend of mine just got the job to direct our next musical and so we spend a lot of time talking about ways to get people to act, to get them to open themselves up – to the part, to their feelings and to each other.

I told her about a wonderful little gem they had us do at Guildhall Summer School. I don’t know what it was called or if it had a name at all but it went down like this; You get paired up with someone, a guy, a gal, whoever and you stand opposite each other for two minutes, just looking at each other. You can look everywhere, all over the face, trace every single line you can find on the other person’s face, study it and – most importantly – find that one thing you really really like. It’s probably the one thing you’ll keep coming back to, the shape of their lips, the slight frown as they study you, the cute nose or the expressive eyes.

You’ll find something you like, so much is sure and then, when the two minutes are over, you tell the other person in detail what you like most about their faces and you explain it. And then they’ll do the same for you.

As you can imagine, staring at someone like this is incredibly awkward the first few moments but it’s also a challenge to find beauty and I think this can be an important lesson, not just for actors but for everybody.

You can find beauty in everything if you look hard enough.

Each setback has something good to it, somewhere, each horrible person you have to deal with has some beauty to them, somewhere. Knowing this helps, knowing this can make so many things easier. If you try your best to find the good to what happens to you, you will lead a brighter life and you will find hope where many give up. Especially with people. Nowadays we hardly see each other anymore but if you took two minutes to study someone, to learn of them, figuratively or otherwise, you can learn to notice again and to understand where other people come from and what makes them beautiful – and through this, learn what makes you beautiful!

So come next fall, when we’ll start our new production, I will suggest this game. Then, when everyone is curious about each other, we can take the time and space to really learn to appreciate each other. I think that’s important. I think I will do this outside of the production too.

I think it’s time to start seeing people again.

Things have calmed down a little bit for me now so we’re back with the Advice Series. This week’s advice is from the lovely Lizzie from Whims and Fancies. Take it away Liz!

Hi everybody,

This is Lizzie from Whims and Fancies.

I am really happy to be here because Karen is amazing and this space is wonderful. Seriously. I know that if I want to find something positive, enlightening, and uplifting on any day of the week, I just have to come here! Thank you, Karen! J

And today, I’m here to be a part of this blog’s advice series.

Initially, I thought that I would write about a piece of advice that someone gave me and I racked my brains trying to think of something insightful and catchy. But I was talking to my father one day and he told me something amazing. He said that his father used to tell him that it’s better to live for one day like a horse than for a hundred days like a donkey. And that is when it struck me. Even though my father never told me these words explicitly as a piece of advice, he had instilled in me this very same value, through his words and deeds. He is honest, and upright, and he never, ever deviates from his value system, even at the detriment of others.

In retrospect, I am aware that a lot of my good and bad traits can be traced directly to this piece of wisdom that his father told mine. My love for travel, my craving for books and new knowledge, my impatience for situations and people that are drudgerous and uninspiring, my constant changing of careers to find my calling, a hundred hobbies and skills all of which I am an amateur at—they are all part of me living like a horse. I do not know about the end and how awe-inspiring it will be, but my journey sure has been worthwhile.

This credo is pretty simple and it translates to this: As much as you can, do not sell out. Seek your soul and carry on. I watched the amazing We bought a zoo yesterday, and in it, the protagonist Benjamin Mee says something profound. “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” Sometimes things are really as simple as that. So yeah. Live like a horse by being insanely courageous for twenty seconds each time you are required to be brave. J

That’s all from me today. Hope you all have a lovely, lovely, lovely week ahead.

It’s Tuesday which means: time for some advice!

Today’s advice is from Melissa. She blogs at Suger Coat It; a blog about living the sweet life. Her blog’s rather sweet too so naturally I’m thrilled that she’ll be sharing some advice with us today.

Don’t take it so seriously.

This little gem of advice goes around and around. I think I heard it most when I was a teenager and young adult. I was a serious type with a tendency towards the dramatic. I was anxious, depressed, overwhelmed. Everything felt like it was the end of the world or at very least, the end of me. I got absolutely nothing done because I was in a perpetual state of chaos, panic and worry.

Then all at once the most influential people in my life all started saying the same thing. Don’t take it so seriously. Life is a game. Play with your whole heart, sure. But remember it’s a game. And you make up the rules.

Whether you are a success or not is determined by you. Whether you have everything you want or not, that is of your making. Life can be as simple or as complicated as you wish it to be.

I took some time to process this. But if I wasn’t serious, how could I make a difference in the world. If I pretended like life was a game, what was the point? What did I want for myself anyway, and who was helping me get it.

With some training and some practice, I was able to play the game. Give it my whole heart. Impact people and lives and not crash myself against the rocks doing so. While I might have broken my heart more times than I care to admit. I never broke it.

Life isn’t serious. Nobody gets out alive.

Another Tuesday, time for some more advice. The past weekend I’ve moved apartments so I’m very happy to have Joke kick of this week’s posting.

Hi there! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joke. That’s not a joke, it’s Dutch. I write about life as a Belgian girl happily engaged to my South African man. You can check out my blog over at South Africa meets Belgium.

That’s me.

When Karen asked me to write a post about the best advice I have been given I felt very flattered. First of all because she considered me and secondly because this is my very first guest post. I decided to share advice that’s applicable to my life right now.

I’m getting married on July 7th. That day is quickly approaching and I’ve been thinking about how I can make the most of our marriage.

My beautiful engagement ring on a delicious macaron. Just because.

Recently our pastor shared a piece of advice that he and his wife were given before they got married. That advice was to always apologize first. It stuck with me because those 3 little words are applicable whether it’s in a marriage, a family relationship or a friendship. Most of the arguments we all have are so silly. Why not apologize and move on?!

You should ask me in 2 months how I’m doing!

I’ve decided to switch the Advice Series to Tuesday as Mondays are incredibly busy for me these days. After a week of hiatus – me being in Poland and all that jazz – we’re back with the second installment of the series. Enjoy!

Hi guys, I am Magdalena from the recordologist. When Karen asked me to share a piece of advice on her blog, I jumped on the opportunity to do so for two reasons.

1. Her blog is one of my favorite blogs.
2. I instantly thought of something I was given four years ago when visiting my mother’s church.

It was Christmas, and the yearly ritual consisted of a festive service followed by a gift exchange. When I spotted a pink bag with lighter pink stripes, and the words Victoria’s Secret printed on it, the eighteen-year-old inside of me jumped with excitement. Somehow the thought of a body-mist and a Victoria’s Secret lotion made me feel sexier. Like it had the power to officially make me an adult…

An adult. My own director (I thought).

Surrounded by this cloud of independence, and feeling of adulthood, I sprayed the sparkly bodymist on my wrist and smelled it, shocked to find out that the feeling of adulthood I expected didn’t come over me like an avalanche. Is this what adulthood is supposed to feel like? Sparkly and sticky? I wondered.

After recovering from the shock, my eyes rested inside the bag. There was a card. I opened it and read the words written on it:

Never lose the inner child in you.

This sentence became part of the strings of my heart, and words to live by. As young adults we spend so much time living in the future, and trying to grow up that we forget what it feels like to live in the present and to be perfectly content with who we are and what we have.

It takes being a child to know that it’s okay to rest in a bigger power, and not worry about the future. Celebrating the present and having fun with each day like it’s our favourite childhood game should be the way of living.

It’s the first Monday of May and that means that today is the start of a new series. I have asked some of my blogger friends and bloggers I admire (let’s face it, a lot of those are the same people…) to share the best/most hilarious/most absurd advice they have ever been given and then share the wisdom/hilarity with us all.

We kick off with the lovely Casee from The Girl Who Stole the Eiffel Tower and Literary Inklings.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

 
Eleanor Roosevelt’s words have for a long time stood out to me as a model for living in passionate pursuit of one’s greatest wishes. The quote was first introduced to me by my mother, who gave me a metal bookmark with the words inscribed on it as a simple little gift, something she had spotted while out and about and she couldn’t deny its relevance to me.

As an introvert in an extroverted world I’ve always felt a bit out of society’s loop, growing up with a timid, anxious nature among a much more boisterous and confident society. It’s always left me living in a sort of reluctance to “get out there”, drawing me further into my own imagination. I liked books when reading wasn’t cool. I enjoyed a natural reticence and I was content with being alone when so many other girls were out flirting with the neighborhood boys or immersing themselves in the world of adolescent drama. It scared me that I was so different, and upon growing up I worried that I would never be able to achieve the things I wanted to – at first discovering what it was I wanted, and then later realizing that my greatest dream was to spend my life writing.

I never really gave up believing in my dreams, but I think my greatest fear was that the universe somehow had, or would, and that despite my eternal optimism things just wouldn’t work out. And I think through everything, now, as I pursue my goal of making a living as a writer, Eleanor‘s encouragement is always there moving me forward, telling me that the future is mine and that nothing – not even the universe – can ever take it away.

Wow, it’s been a rather quick week for me. It’s already Friday and I’m preparing for my Rotterdam audition on Monday. When did that one sneak up on me like this?

Also on Monday is the start of the Advice Series I’ve been planning for a bit now. I’ve asked my favourite bloggers to share a piece of advice and quite a few of them have responded. Stay tuned for Casee’s advice this coming Monday.

At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. -Friedrich Nietzsche

I love this Nietzsche quote because it is true. You are unique. You are special. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Have a great weekend!